OMG why am i so stupid??? I asked my parents to take away my scale for a REASON, though why they didn’t put it somewhere unaccessable idk, but i saw it and i stepped on it and ITS REALLY NOT OKAY WITH ME and I’m really upset and ED is being really mean and I have a weigh-in soon and I’m really worried =( and I’m out of shape and today was my first class back to karate- but I start dance next week! And I’m going to be the biggest girl in the room! This isn’t going well….
My brother has been his horrible self. And he might have slept with his evil girlfriend. And we kind of lost him last night and have 2 conflicting stories for where he was. And he was super rude to my grandparents and just didn’t show up at their house (even though he said he was coming for a visit and to sleep over) because they “offended him”. And he actually friended me on fb, and is acting like everything is fine now, posted for my birthday, even though we’re clearly NOT fine. And his girlfriend is an ugly immature airhead. And he makes me sad. He doesn’t even notice if I haven’t eaten anymore =( I think that she’s his ED
My good friend (who is also quite blunt with me and we have an interesting friendship), Jake, has told me that I need to forgive my ex. The problem is that I’m not mad at my ex- I just think that he’s a terrible human being that I don’t enjoy being around. While we never actually did the deed, the way we were intimate was (as dubbed by a different close friend) like rape, and he’s honestly not a nice person. Unfortunately, he’s in my group of karate friends, so I am polite to him. I am civil. But he’s realized that I really dislike him and is “really upset” about it, and sent Jakey to try to get me to bury the past (ignoring the fact that he’s ALWAYS an ass). Even Jake admitted that he’s an ass the vast majority of the time. But trying to just act like he’s nice will be giving in to the ED part of me that says to be perfect and make everyone else happy! Blehhhhhhhhh! Wow this came out long.